Yesterday I was having coffee with a friend of mine who is a teacher. She was telling me about this student she has in her class who seems to ‘always be in trouble’.
We have all known that guy/girl growing up, who just seems to always get in trouble. They may be up to no good perpetually, or once in a while, you will see that these people don’t do anything out of the ordinary, but get into trouble regardless. You feel sorry for them, they feel sorry for themselves, then everyone laughs and moves on.
But if you trace it back, there is a point where this started. There always is.
Take the student my friend was talking about for example. She took the student aside and they talked for a long time. Turns out, this student got ‘in trouble’ for the first time when she was in kindergarten. She had been sitting in class, zoning out into her own world, while rubbing two pencils together. Maybe she was thinking of the last Dora The Explorer episode she saw, or she was dreaming up a whole scenario of games she would play later with her friends that evening. But her teacher at the time suddenly noticed this little girl rubbing two pencils together, and raised an alarm. She thought the little girl was trying to burn down the school. Poor girl was taken to the principal’s office, sent home, and was suggested disciplinary action.
This occurrence obviously affected a 5 year old girl, because the message she got was that she got in trouble – for not doing anything wrong.
90% of a human being’s perceptions and beliefs are developed before they turn ten. So at the ripe age of five, this occurrence just got deeply entrenched in her brain, and became one of her ‘core beliefs’.
When you carry a core belief through to adulthood, a majority of your actions stem from that belief. If one of your core beliefs state that you are ‘generous and caring’, you will likely be in situations where your genuine care and helpfulness are frequently called upon. Because your core beliefs dictate how you BEHAVE, which in turn dictate the type of people you attract and the type of situations you create around yourself. If you grow up with a core belief that you are always ‘in trouble’, you will inadvertently find yourself in situations where you end up in trouble.
I always find it very interesting when some people say they got walked all over, and when you ask some more questions, you will find that they have a pattern of this type of behavior. Same goes for people who seem to just ‘win’ at everything in life. They are the ones that get the job, get the promotion, get the girl/guy, etc. It’s a pattern. And patterns stem from core beliefs.
Are there any patterns that you happen to notice in your life? Where do you think they stem from?